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Trapped 2000

February 26, 2000

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Rain vs. Boston Strangler

(2 total votes)

RainBoston Strangler

Finn: Now now, James. At any rate, our next contest is sure to be intriguing. It involves a newly formed rivalry between Rain and The Boston Strangler. With some cohesing from Dead, Rain has targeted The Strangler, and their war comes to a head tonight here at Trapped.

Roberts: A Straightjacket Match, baby. A very dangerous, dangerous match. Expect all the rules to be broken, but then again, rules were MADE to be broken, baby, yeah!

Armstrong: Yeah, Stevie. Hey, anyone got any Vodka?

Finn: Let's go up to Matt Panzer for the intros of both men.

Panzer: Ladies and gentlemen, our next match will be a Straightjacket Match! Introducing first, he hails from Hollywood, California and stands at over seven feet six inches tall while weighing just a tad over three hundred and twenty pounds... he is the man who claims to hold the power of the storm... he is... Rain!

Finn: And listen to that massive ovation of jeers echoing throughout the Kiel Center as Rain makes his way out onto the stage.

Armstrong: Boo. Where's Frenchie & Primetime already?

Finn: James, you know their match isn't until later tonight.

Armstrong: Yeah, well, until then, I'm going to go backstage, I'm going to find me some blackjack... I'm going to find me some hookers... I'm going to find me some vodka... and I'm going to have the best damn night there ever was. Well, aside from last night and the party in Kansas City... and aside from the night before in Pensacola... and the night before that in New Orleans...

Finn: You have quite the night life, I gather?

Armstrong: Oh yeah, I'm the Dennis Rodman of wrestling, brother.

Finn: Please. You know, I've never noticed this before as you see Rain climb into the ring, but anyways, I never realized just how much resemblance you bear to Dead.

Armstrong: What? What? That nut is not as handsome as I am. That nut is a bonafied, stamped, sealed and delivered piece of garbage! I have to fend the women off with a stick, you know. I'm that damn good.

Finn: Yeah, whatever. You still look like Dead, wouldn't you agree, Stevie?

Roberts: Please leave my name out of this thread, er, discussion... baby.

Finn: Whatever you say. Nevertheless, as Rain is welcomed here with a resounding chorus of jeers the sound of O' Fortuna can only mean one thing...

Armstrong: We're all going to fall asleep until Primetime & Frenchie wrestle?

Finn: No, James.

Armstrong: Oh. My bad. Props to you for pointing that out, my brother.

Finn: More ghetto talk, James?

Armstrong: I'm down with the hood, G.

Finn: Sigh. Let's go up to Panzer for the intro of The Boston Strangler.

Panzer: And his opponent is from Boston, Massachusetts and he weighs in at two hundred and seventy eight pounds... he is the man who has honored the fWo by serving and protecting it diligently for years, he is The Boston Strangler!

Finn: Listen to the crowd! The mere appearance of the Strangler provokes a deafening reaction from the fans!

Armstrong: The mere appearance of that nut gives me the willies, Finn.

Roberts: Me too, baby. That Strangler is a few... thousand megabytes short of a gig, baby!

Finn: And the Strangler has brought with him a straightjacket!

Armstrong: Kinky. Hey, I once used a straightjacket with that stripper from Miami...

Roberts: Sylvia?

Armstrong: Yeah, how'd you know?

Roberts: Lucky guess, baby...

Finn: I don't believe this. You're both ridiculous. The Strangler paces down to ringside, focused on his opponent inside the ring. The man known only as Rain.

Armstrong: Remember that group Vanilla Manilli?

Finn: I think it was Milli Vanilli, but yes, go on.

Armstrong: Whatever, Finn, shut your piehole. Anyways, if this match sucks, we can always... blame it on the rain, yeah, yeah...

Finn: Ugh. No more singing, please!

Armstrong: Are you jealous of my beautifully sounding voice, Finn?

Finn: Not quite. The Strangler enters the ring and the referee goes over the rules of the match with both men.

Armstrong: Hey, what are the rules exactly? Since Sylvia's not involved in this one, I'm not up to date on the rules.

Finn: I believe one man must punish the other enough and then shove them in the straightjacket to win.

Armstrong: Well, I've an idea. Why not punish their opponent by forcing them to sit through a card that nobody cares about with the exception of Frenchie & Primetime? I mean, we have to go through it, shouldn't everyone else? It's only fair.

Finn: Remember, the only way to win this match is to put the straightjacket on your opponent.

Armstrong: Ah, seeing that straightjacket reminds me of that night in Florida with Sylvia. She sure was a fine piece of tail, let me tell you...

Finn: Enough.

Armstrong: I had her bent over...

Finn: Enough already.

Armstrong: And I was about ready to pull out the big Jimmy and give it to her...

Finn: ENOUGH ALREADY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Roberts: Hey, look, a match is going on in the ring, baby. Let's call the action.

Finn: Ahem. Excuse me, Stevie, I was trying to do that. Strangler and Rain in the center of the ring now, and I can't hear what the two men are saying to each other, but I'm sure it isn't nice.

Armstrong: I bet they're talking about how much this card sucks and how they should both spontaneously combust in the ring so we can move onto the World Title Match.

Finn: Rain with a shove, and Strangler doesn't budge. He responds with a shove as well... and now Rain with a punch, and another, and another, but Strangler blocks... and responds with five consecutive right hands of his own! And we're underway as the referee signals for the bell!

Finn: Strangler with another attempted punch, but Rain counters with a quick shot to the midsection with a high knee. Now he follows it up by taking the insane individual from Beantown and slamming him head first into the turnbuckle a few times. Rain brings Strangler near the ropes and begins using the top rope to choke the Strangler.

Armstrong: Smart attack on the part of Rain. Taking away his supply of oxygen is a smart move.

Roberts: Indeed, baby, yeah!

Finn: The referee can't even warn him about it because it's not against the rules. And now Rain brings the Strangler away from the ropes and takes him down with a short arm clothesline. This is going to be a brutal match from the looks of things, and we've just begun.

Armstrong: Indeed. Rain now using his massive boot to choke The Strangler out, and the Strangler trying to shove him off, but Rain is too big, and weighs too much for The Strangler to push him off, especially in the position he's in.

Roberts: Right you are James baby. I've been in that ring before and I know what it's like to have a man making you his proverbial bitch, so to speak baby, with his foot! Not a good thing at all, baby.

Finn: Rain continuing on the offensive, he brings the Strangler up and chops him across the chest, and the fans acknowledge it with oohs and 'aahs'. Rain with another chop, and now he whips Strangler into the turnbuckles. He charges in with a clothesline, but Strangler grabs him by the arm and takes him to the mat quickly for a Boston Massacre! If he locks it in, it's OVER!

Finn: But Rain quickly escapes and goes to the outside to catch his breath... and now... oh my god... Strangler up over the top rope with a suicide plancha! What a move!

Armstrong: I don't like either of these men but that move was absolutely breathtaking!

Roberts: It's easy to see that both men are going to pull out all the stops in this one, baby.

Finn: Strangler now may have injured his knee as he gets up and pulls Rain up by the hair, and hell... rather than choke him with his foot or via use from the ring rope he's going to use an electrical cord from the several dozen that are about here at ringside! And now Strangler's choking him out, slowly... methodically... boy, these two men hate each other. I don't know what Dead said to Rain a few weeks back on Warfare but he's taking his frustration out on the Strangler because of it.

Finn: Right now, however, it's the other way around as Strangler continues to choke him out... Rain grasping at the cord trying his absolute damnedest to break free. Rain breaks free with a mulekick!

Armstrong: Oooh. That. Wasn't. Very. Good.

Roberts: No. It. Sure. Wasn't. Baby.

Finn: Strangler clutching at his injured gonads, and now Rain follows by grabbing him by the hair and taking him near a guardrail... and suplexing him through the guardrail, which collapses in turn!

Finn: No fans were nearby, but even if they were, I'd like to remind them that as it states on the back of their ticket we would not be held responsible for any damage. That may have been an irrational move on the part of Rain, since his back is hurting now as well, although Strangler appears to have been on the worse end.

Finn: Rain now grabs Strangler up and brings him near another portion of guardrail... and he's hooking him for another suplex. The Strangler blocks it, however... Rain attempts it again, and his attempt is again thwarted. Strangler however hooks him and sets him on the guardrail crotch first!

Armstrong: Rain. Shouldn't. Expect. To. Have. Kids.

Roberts: No. He. Shouldn't.

Roberts: Baby.

Finn: And now Strangler clotheslines him off the guardrail which sends him back on the "safe" side. Strangler is on the offensive now, pulling Rain up by his locks of hair and tossing him into the steel steps with ease! And now he procures himself a chair and whacks Rain in the back!

Finn: And again!

Finn: And one more time! Thwack!

Armstrong: Huh. Wonder what the Gods of the Storm think about that shot to their back.

Finn: Strangler now pulls Rain up and rolls him into the ring. The Strangler follows him in and it appeared as if the Strangler was going to go for the pin, but I'd like to remind you all that there are no pinfalls in this match.

Armstrong: I'd like to remind you that this and every other match that doesn't include Frenchie, Primetime or Courage sucks.

Finn: Strangler now measuring Rain and he hits a legdrop. Not the most feared move in the business, but it shall do. Strangler now on the offense, and he brings Rain up to his feet. He whips him into the turnbuckle and follows in with an elbow. And another. And now he brings him near the middle section of the ropes and whips him across... Rain returns and there's a sleeperhold! Brilliant move on the part of the Strangler!

Roberts: Indeed, baby, yeah! If The Strangler can capitalize on this, he could put Rain to sleep and then that would allow him to put Rain in the straightjacket.

Armstrong: Huh. How odd. I never had to put Sylvia asleep to get her in the straightjacket.

Finn: Is that all you think about, James? Sex?

Armstrong: Yeah. Of course. That and blackjack... booze... and hookers!

Finn: Rain now feeling the affects of the sleeperhold... his eyes are wide shut... and now the Strangler sensing that this one is over.

Armstrong: Thank God. Isn't Frenchie & Primetime up next?

Finn: We've still got about four matches after this one...

Armstrong: Well, can't we just forget about those matches and move onto the reason everyone is here for?

Finn: But wait... Rain's eyes are open but the Strangler doesn't see this... and now he reaches down deep inside and somehow finds the strength to escape by dropping down and taking the Strangler out with a jawbreaker!

Finn: I sense that Rain must've got that burst of energy and that sudden burst of adrenaline from the Gods of the Storm.

Armstrong: Either that or he wasn't really asleep to begin with and was faking it.

Armstrong: But you tell us, Finn. You're used to people "faking" things.

Finn: Shut YOUR piehole, James! One more word outta you and... hey look, both men are out in the ring now, and the referee can't let this one go on all night, so he's going to lay down the law with a ten count.

Armstrong: Frenchie. Primetime. Now. Okay?

Finn: The referee now up to four...

Finn: And at the count of six Rain begins to move... Strangler beginning to show signs of movement as well. Rain up... Strangler up... and they see each other and charge... and there's a clothesline! Both men must've had the same exact thought as they both went for a clothesline, and now both men are down and out in the ring, and the referee laying down another ten count.

Armstrong: Two four six eight who do we appreciate? FRENCHIE!

Armstrong: One three five seven blah blah blah blah blah blah! PRIMETIME!

Finn: It's amazing how you ever got past college. It's amazing how you ever got INTO college. Did you even graduate from high school for that matter?

Armstrong: Hey, Finn, I brought you into the fWo, remember, I can take you out.

Finn: No, you can't, James.

Armstrong: If it weren't for me you'd still be asleep on a park bench, pal. You owe me. So I suggest you go in there and kick everyone's ass and clear the ring so Frenchie & Primetime can come out here and put on the match of the year.

Finn: Referee now up to seven... and Rain pulls himself up via use of the ropes... Strangler getting up on his own accord... Strangler charges and Rain grabs him by the hair and throws him up over the top rope onto the cement floor!

Finn: Rain now taking his time... he's not moving as quick as he was earlier in this match-up. Rain climbs over the top rope onto the ring apron... and as the Strangler reaches his feet Rain charges and dives and takes him down with a lariat from the ring apron! What a maneuver!

Roberts: Wow! I don't think I've ever seen anything like that from Rain before, baby! He seems hell-bent on winning this match and is pretty much going to do whatever it takes to put The Strangler in that straightjacket!

Finn: And if you remember it was just this past Wednesday that Rain put the Strangler in the straightjacket on Warfare.

Armstrong: The fans don't remember, Finn. Wrestling is no place for memories with long people, okay?

Finn: I think you've messed up your words there, James. Both men out on the floor... Rain looking worse for wear after that one, but Strangler seems to be in poorer condition. Rain grabs Strangler up by the hair and slams him head first into the guardrail. Rain now grabbing The Strangler and raking him across the eyes...

Finn: Rain sends Strangler towards a guardrail with an Irish whip... but Strangler reverses it... and Rain reverses it once more into a short-arm clothesline! He used that earlier in the match, and I think he can sense this one's all but over from here if he hits a big impact move, that could be enough to put the Strangler in that straightjacket.

Finn: Speaking of that... Rain pulling Strangler up... and now he hooks him... and there's a powerbomb on the outside! The Rainmaker!

Armstrong: Boo! Rain rain, go away, come back some other day.

Finn: The Strangler' head bounces off the cement floor... and he's had this move done to him before by Primetime a month or so ago. And Rain now rolls the Strangler into the ring, and I think he's positive it's all over. The seven-foot two inch giant of a man now walking over to the corner and retrieving the straightjacket... it appears as if he's going to win this one.

Armstrong: Pah. Oh well. At least that moves us one step closer to the two men who put all of these asses in the seats.

Armstrong: You know, if you can't put asses in the seats you've got no business in wrestling, brother.

Finn: Rain attempting to put the Strangler in the straightjacket... but The Strangler attempting to escape... and... oh my... there's a shot to the little Rainies!

Finn: And now with Rain bent over the Strangler gets up and locks in that Boston Massacre from behind! He's got it locked in this time and Rain can't escape!

Roberts: The crossface chickenwing is the most dangerous submission move in wrestling, Finn!

Finn: Rain is tapping but he can't LOSE the match that way.

Finn: Strangler's got it locked in, and locked in good. This one's over because if Rain can't use his arms he won't be able to fend off from being put in the straightjacket!

Finn: Wait a minute... that's Chris Universal on the stage! And he's got a chair!

Armstrong: Oh wow, a chair! What's he going to do, sit down and watch?

Finn: I think he has revenge in mind for what occurred on Warfare... and now Universal into the ring... and there's a chairshot to the head of Rain as Strangler releases the Massacre! And now another shot to the head!

Finn: And now Universal & The Strangler bringing Rain up by the hair, there's a kick to the stomach and a Cha-Ching! And it's all legal because neither man can lose until one of them is put in the straightjacket!

Armstrong: Although Universal and that nut make for the odd couple of the fWo, this is a very strategic move on their part.

Finn: Universal and that nut, I mean Strangler now beginning to put the straightjacket on Rain... and they've got it on him, but this one isn't over until he's for sure strapped in...

Finn: And he's in! This one's over as the referee calls for the bell! The fans love it! Rain got what was coming to him!

Armstrong: Hey, didn't you say that Frenchie & Primetime are up next? I believe you did...

Finn: Enough, James, enough. Rain locked in that straightjacket as he sits on the mat and he's furiously trying to escape... but the Strangler and Universal simply let him be as Universal exits the ring to a nice ovation from the crowd. Later tonight he'll be facing Dead in that NHBFCA...

Armstrong: NHBFCA?

Finn: No holds barred falls count anywhere. Duh.

Armstrong: OIC...

Finn: Universal and the Strangler head backstage... but coming in from the crowd is Dead, and he doesn't look to happy... Rain looking up at him hoping he'll help him out of that Straightjacket... but... I don't think Dead's going to do that.

Armstrong: You're probably right.

Finn: Dead yelling at Rain now and Rain arguing that it took two men to put him in the straightjacket. Dead's heard enough, however, and he grabs the chair and whacks Rain across the face!

Finn: What in the hell did he do that for?

Finn: Dead now giving him the double finger before exiting the ring to a loud rendition of boos from the crowd, and Rain is left in the ring unconscious as Dead disappears into the backstage area. Rain will have to be helped out of the ring, and while some officials come down to do just that I'd like to take this time to shill, er, talk about our next pay-per-view called "Body Count".

Result: Boston Strangler