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Trapped 2000

February 26, 2000

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Chris Universal vs. Dead

(2 total votes)

Chris UniversalDead

Finn: Next up, we have Dead versus Chris Universal. There's no love lost between these two, they've hated each other since day one and have never gotten along.

Armstrong: Pah. This just means we're one step closer to the main event, doesn't it?

Finn: It does, but we should all brace ourselves for what could be a chaoctic encounter between two rivals who absolutely hate each other. The story between these two men is long and -

Armstrong: Boooooooooring. Booooooooring. Boooooooring. Boooooooooooring. They hate each other. Pah. Don't care.

Finn: Despite my feelings towards Dead, and the way Universal has treated me as of late, this should be an intriguing match.

Roberts: Indeed, Finnster. These two men have made it clear that they don't get along... and that's what makes their rivalry great. You won't see these two buddying around in the future, baby.

Finn: Nevertheless, Universal' music has begun, so let's send it up to Matt Panzer for the introductions of the next contest.

Panzer: Thank you, Finnster. Our next contest is a special No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere in St. Louis match! Introducing first... he hails from Miami, Florida and weighs in at two hundred and forty five pounds... he is The Sellout Chris Universal!

Finn: Listen to the reaction from the fans!

Armstrong: They're booing like hell because Frenchie & Primetime aren't out here!

Finn: James, will you stop?

Armstrong: Highly unlikely.

Finn: And as Universal stretches out inside the ring, we await the introductions of Dead.

Panzer: And his opponent... hailing from Death Valley, Arizona... he weighs in at two hundred and fifty pounds, he is a former two-time fWo World Champion, he is Dead!

Finn: And understandably so, the fans do not like him whatsoever. Neither do I, for that matter, because the man has been trying to accomplish what nobody has ever accomplished, and that's killing the fWo. He's tried to do it since he returned, and he doesn't have a chance in hell of completing his goal.

Armstrong: He sure doesn't.

Finn: And as Dead makes his way out onto the ramp, the crowd lets him know how they feel about him, and I've never heard such a large negative reaction for one human being.

Armstrong: Except for that one time you went back home to Idaho to visit your family, and they booed you out of your own home 'cause you suck as an announcer!

Finn: Alright, that's it! You've gone too far! You're a dead man!

Roberts: Guys, guys! We're on pay-per-view! Can't we all just get along?

Armstrong: Well, Rodney King, we could if Finn here would keep his piehole shut.

Finn: Sigh, and as Dead approaches the ring, you'll note that he pushed a very large dumpster out onto the stage here, and we can only wonder what he has in store for Universal using that big item. Dead slides into the ring as Universal beckons him to join him, and we're underway! Universal charges and takes Dead down with a clothesline!

Armstrong: Stiff shot to the upper pectoral muscles by Universal!

Finn: Universal grabs Dead by the head and brings him up and tosses him up and over the top rope onto the cement floor. Universal now with a baseball slide out, and from there he takes Dead down with another clothesline. Now Universal grabs Dead by the head and brings him up, before whipping him into the guardrail backfirst!

Finn: Universal now charges at him and Dead ducks and backdrops him over the guardrail into the first row of fans! Dead meant what he said, guys, when he said if others had to be hurt in the process just so he could hurt Universal he would do it!

Finn: And as I say that I remind you that the little disclaimer on the back of the tickets indicate weren't not responsible -

Armstrong: For rampaging talent. Yep. Been there, done that.

Roberts: James, are you PMSing or something? You're sure in a grumpy mood today, baby!

Finn: He sure is. Dead now climbs over the guardrail and grabs Universal up by the hair... and there's a bodyslam to the cement floor. And now Dead repeatedly kicks at his head, before bringing him up... he's trying to go for a piledriver... can he hit it... no, Universal backdrops out of it and Dead goes crashing to the floor!

Roberts: Yeah, baby, yeah! Show that bald headed meanie who's boss!

Armstrong: Who's your daddy Austin Davis?

Finn: Now that was just lame. Universal over by the guardrail, attempting to catch his breath, Dead up to his feet and he charges... and Universal hip tosses him over the guardrail onto the floor! Now Universal waits for Dead to reach his feet...

Finn: Dead does and Universal hops onto the guardrail before flying off with a lariat and taking Dead to the floor again! Universal now looks up at the dumpster on the stage, and I think he's pondering taking a stroll up there to check out what Dead brought out.

Armstrong: Pah. Who cares. I hope Universal takes Dead and puts him in that dumpster and pushes it off the stage into oblivion.

Roberts: I agree, baby, that would be a sight to see, yeah!

Finn: Universal now walking up towards the dumpster, but he doesn't see Dead from behind grab him and take him out with a side Russian Legsweep on the floor! Now Dead grabs him by the hair and begins to take him up on the stage, but Universal shoots an elbow into his ribs. And another, and now Universal brings him up and Irish Whips him into the dumpster, but Dead reverses it and instead it's Universal who crashes back first into that dumpster.

Finn: Universal staggers out and Dead takes him down with a quick double-arm DDT!

Finn: Now Dead climbs to his feet and he reaches inside that large dumpster... and my god... he's got a weed wacker!

Armstrong: Universal better hope for his sake Dead can't start that thing up!

Roberts: Hell, we better hope for OUR sake that he can't! Otherwise, chopped up pieces of Universal are gonna be flying our way, baby!

Finn: As Universal gets to his feet, Dead takes the weed wacker and slams it right into his face!

Finn: Good god, I don't believe I ever recall seeing a weed wacker in a match. I remember Dead using a lawnmower against Mick Foley in the December of '98, but never a weed wacker!

Finn: Dead waits for Universal to get up once more, before charging at him and clotheslining him to the stage with the weapon! And now Dead tosses the weed wacker off the stage, and he reaches inside the dumpster once more... I can only wonder what he's gonna pull out. It looks like... that's a hard drive!

Armstrong: A what?

Finn: A hard drive.

Roberts: Huh huh, baby, you said hard.

Finn: And Dead waits for Universal to get up before simply throwing it at him, and somehow Universal had the strength to catch it before he charged and took Dead down with it! Good God!

Finn: Universal now tosses it aside and it heads off the stage below us... and now he looks inside the dumpster... and retrieves a Saint Bernard?

Finn: Wait... pardon me. That's a fire extinguisher.

Armstrong: How in the hell could you mix those two up?

Finn: Sorry. Anyways, as Dead uses the dumpster to pull himself up, Universal holds the weapon in both hands high above waiting to bring it down onto Dead, but Dead fires a low blow into the tender nether regions of Universal and watches as The Sellout drops the fire extinguisher onto the stage, and now Dead procures the fire extinguisher and shoots a cloud of white into the face of Universal!

Finn: Now Dead slams it onto his back! Good God! Now he's using the hose of the fire extinguisher to choke The Sellout with it!

Finn: Speaking of fire extinguishers, it's a good thing the security members were on call earlier tonight and got that fire out earlier this evening.

Armstrong: Stupid Machina.

Finn: Ah, come on, he had no way of knowing that surfing down a steel guardrail using a STEEL chair would 'cause sparks to fly that high!

Finn: And now Dead grabs Universal and slams him head first into the dumpster, before bringing him down near the ring and rolling him in... Dead now reaching underneath the ring, and he pulls out a table. He rolls it into the ring, before climbing in and as Universal is bent over trying to get up, Dead kicks him in the back of the head!

Armstrong: Ouch.

Roberts: That had to of scrambled his eggs, baby!

Finn: Dead now retrieves the table and sets it up in the corner, before bringing Universal up and whipping him to the ropes. Universal with a reversal, and as Dead returns he counters the backdrop with a DDT!

Armstrong: His old finisher, and I believe you've been on the receiving end of that, right Stevie?

Roberts: Unfortunately, baby, unfortunately!

Finn: Dead now with a cover, but Universal kicks out at two. That was our first pinfall attempt of the match, and now Dead grabs Universal by the hair and begins pounding him repeatedly. Dead now with a bodyslam onto the table, and now pounding Universal relentlessly... but what's this? What the hell is she doing?

Armstrong: It's Megan Dawn! I'd like to have a piece of her...

Roberts: Hehe, don't tell Chris, but I did have a piece of her baby, and it was delicious.

Finn: You did not.

Roberts: Okay... it was a dream. So what, baby!

Finn: And now she pushes Dead from behind as she enters the ring, and Dead now returns her push with a cold hard stare!

Armstrong: Nothing beats that. Nothing.

Finn: Dead now grabs her by the hair, but Universal from behind with a shot to the little Dead-sticles from behind! And now as Dead turns around Universal takes him down with a piledriver! Cover!

Finn: 1...

Finn: 2...

Finn: No! Just two! And now Universal gets up to ask Dawn what she's doing out here, when she hasn't been seen for weeks on television.

Finn: From behind Dead grabs Universal by the hair and turns him around and nails him with a forearm to the face, and another. Dead now continues on the offensive attack, slamming Universal head first into the table... before tossing him over the top rope onto the cement floor!

Finn: Dead now grabs Dawn by the hair and brings her over by the table... and he puts her up on the table... Universal recovering on the outside.. and Dead now up onto the table himself... and he turns Dawn upside down... and oh my god, don't tell me, don't tell me he's going to Crucify her through the table? Good God! This man is sick!

Finn: But Universal up onto the top rope, and he flies off with a dropkick that propels Dead off the table and sends Dawn to the mat before she goes out underneath the bottom rope onto the floor!

Finn: Universal now is furious! And rightfully so! Universal now leans over and lays into Dead with a ton of hard lefts and rights!

Armstrong: Hit him for me!

Roberts: And me, baby!

Finn: And me too!

Armstrong: Ah, who cares about you, you Timothy Dalton fan!

Finn: Hey, it was bad scripts... he was a fine actor. And now Universal leaning halfway in and halfway out of the ring, before he goes fully outside the ring to check on his woman. But as he does this, a team of medical personnel now on their way out to help Dawn to the back on a stretcher. Let's hope she's okay.

Armstrong: Right, Finn. It's not cool to hit a woman, even though Dead never did actually *hit* her.

Finn: He was going to do something worse, something MUCH worse. And now Dead rolls out onto the floor before dismantling part of the ring steps, and bringing it near Universal from behind and... good lord, that had to of sent a chill down the spine of Universal because Dead slammed that huge piece of steel right into him!

Finn: And now Dead holds it above Dawn... don't tell me he's going to do that... this man is sick! He's diabolical, and he doesn't belong in wrestling!

Finn: As I say that, rather Dead simply sets the steel steps down, before going over and grabbing Universal and tossing him up onto the French announce table!

Finn: Let us hope Jacques and Raymond are okay! As I say that, the medical staff is helping Dawn backstage, without the stretcher. Let's hope she's okay.

Armstrong: Indeed! Where's Pierre to stop this carnage?

Roberts: Well, his match is next, so I reckon he's in the back preparing for it, baby!

Finn: And now Dead brings Universal up, and there's a shot to the ribs by Universal, and another, before he reaches up... CHA-CHING!

Armstrong: Right through the table! Run French announcers, run!

Finn: Cover that man! Cover him!

Finn: Cover him!

Armstrong: I don't think he can hear you!

Finn: Universal now rolling his one arm over Dead... and there's a cover!

Finn: 1...

Finn: 2...

Finn: No! Dead somehow kicked out!

Roberts: Damnit, baby, damnit!

Armstrong: Yeah, I agree with Stevie. That really sucked.

Finn: Be that as it may, Universal now grabbing Dead by the head...

Armstrong: That rhymed.

Finn: It did, James. You're learning quick. Universal now brings him over and slams him head first into the ringpost nearby, before rolling him up onto OUR table!

Armstrong: Hold me, someone!

Finn: Shut up, ya big baby! And now Universal up onto the table as well and he pulls Dead up... but there's ANOTHER shot to the testicular area of Universal, and despite how much these men claim to hate each other, they sure like hitting each other's balls.

Finn: And as I say that... DDT!

Finn: Ack!

Finn: Right through our table, and I've got a monitor sitting in my lap!

Armstrong: Ah, and I suppose that's not what you wanted, right? Suppose you wanted Timothy Dalton sitting there, right?

Finn: Shut up! I'm not queer or anything like that!

Armstrong: Oh, so now you've got something against gay people?

Finn: No!

Armstrong: Oh, so you love gay people?

Finn: Yes! Er, I mean no! Look... COVER!

Finn: 1...

Finn: 2...

Finn: Yes! Universal got a shoulder up, and that means he still has a chance of ending Dead's career here tonight! And the Kiel Center is rocking as they can't wait to see the end of Dead's career tonight. Universal and Dead are both exhausted... and now Dead brings Universal up... he rolls him onto the Spanish announcer table! Run for your lives Jose & Pepe!

Finn: And as I say that, both men crash through the table! What is it with those Spanish announce tables? They suck, and always break on contact!

Finn: Both men are out of it, and interestingly enough, they fell in a way that both men have an arm draped over the other... and so it's a pinning predicament... cover!

Finn: 1...

Finn: 2...

Finn: No! That was close, so close, but BOTH men shouldered out of it! The Kiel Center is in a frenzy, the whole arena looks like a car crash...

Armstrong: Yeah, look at all those ugly people...

Finn: I didn't mean it that way, James. Three tables have been broken, and if it's any indication of what's to come, more will be broken as well.

Finn: Dead now pulling himself up via the guardrail, and Universal staggering up slowly... he almost falls.. and now Dead grabs him by the hair and rolls him into the ring. Dead now into the ring as well, and he bounces off the ropes and drives a knee right into the throat of Universal... pinfall attempt here...

Finn: 1...

Finn: 2...

Finn: No! Two count only! Universal kicks out. Dead now brings Universal up and whips him into the corner, and then follows it up with a charging elbow right to the jaw of Universal... he then grabs him by the hair and lays him on the table that is still in the ring!

Finn: Dead now going to the top rope... but Universal off the table now climbs up to the second rope, and now he and Dead are duking it out high above the ring!

Armstrong: Get 'em, rich boy!

Roberts: Yeah, baby, yeah!

Finn: And now Dead hooks Universal for a DDT, but Universal switches into a Northern Lights Suplex off the top rope through the table... and now Universal with the cover... but Dead kicks out at two. Universal undaunted and frustrated, on his last tank of gas here... grabs Dead up and brings him up by the head, before whipping him into the turnbuckles....

Finn: He charges in shoulder first, but Dead puts a knee up and Universal slams into it... and now Dead hooks him... good lord... CRUCIFIXION TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!

Finn: It's over! It HAS to be over, and it looks like Dead's career will live on... unfortunately.

Armstrong: Indeed. The rich boy gave it all, but it just wasn't good enough. Too bad.

Roberts: Ah, don't count Universal out so quickly, baby! He is shagadelic, after all!

Finn: I don't know, Stevie... it looks to be over. Dead rolls over ontop of Universal, and now the referee gets in position to count.

Finn: 1...

Finn: 2...

Finn: Two count only! And Chris Universal still has a chance!

Armstrong: Unbelievable!

Roberts: Unbelievable, baby!

Finn: And now Dead up to his feet... looking out at the crowd and appears to be flabbergasted that Universal is still in this one. And now Dead looking to the stage... and he's waving? What the hell? He's making a motion like he's telling someone to come out here...

Finn: Wonder what that's about.

Armstrong: He's probably calling for that Slugger bastard and that Mitch bastard to come out here to help him win this match. Bastard.

Finn: And now as you say that, there's Hiroshima and Mitch Wilson, and it looks like they have some wooden tables, and are stacking them up near the stage!

Finn: And now Dead reaches for Universal and pulls him up... before tossing him up and over the top rope onto the floor! Dead now out onto the ring apron... and there's a legdrop onto a fallen Universal from the ring apron! Dead grabs Universal and brings him up near the dumpster before throwing him back first into it, but this time Universal reverses it and as Dead staggers out Universal back drops him!

Armstrong: And now Universal pulls him up and snap suplexes him quickly on the stage, before reaching inside the dumpster...

Finn: ... and pulling out a chainsaw? CUT THAT MO FO UP!

Armstrong: Er...

Roberts: Er...

Finn: Right. Universal trying his damnedest to start it, but the damn thing won't start... and now Dead up to his feet, and as Universal was holding the chainsaw up near his face, Dead dropkicked it right into him, and the engine end of it nailed him hard. And now Dead pulls him up by the hair... he's taking him near the tables... and with a heave... down goes Universal through three tables!

Armstrong: Oh my god!

Roberts: Oh my god, baby!

Finn: Oh my Good God!

Styles: Oh my god~!

Finn: Hey, you're back? Run along... and Universal goes through all three tables, and he has to be done. If he ever walks again, it'll be NOTHING short of a miracle!

Finn: And now Dead looking over the edge as the crowd has gone into an ovation of boo's here, there was quite a large reaction as Universal went through the three tables... my god, this match has to be over. It just has to be.

Finn: Dead now going over near the dumpster... and he's pushing it over... he's one sick & twisted individual...

Finn: He's pushing it near the edge... and now he pushes it over the edge... and oh my god! It smacked the pavement with a resounding thud!

Armstrong: If Universal was under there, he's dead. Literally.

Roberts: Indeed, baby! There's no way he can walk after that!

Finn: The dumpster ended up right side up, and the lid is open... I don't see Universal anywhere, and now Dead doing the Crucifixion pose, as the crowd showers him with jeers.

Finn: A staff of security & medical personnel is looking for Universal now...

Finn: I don't think they're having much luck, as he's nowhere to be seen.

Finn: What in the hell?

Finn: Universal is limping from underneath the huge TrappedTron, and from behind he leaps onto Dead's back for a sleeperhold!

Armstrong: Sleeperhold, sleeperhold, nobody gets out of the sleeperhold!

Finn: And now... Dead struggling... with Universal on his back cutting off the supply off oxygen... the referee looking on in shock, much like the rest of us... where the hell did Universal come from?

Armstrong: I don't know, but he has the advantage now, and Dead may be falling asleep!

Finn: But Dead is staggering back... towards the edge of the stage near the dumpster... and as you can see, there's an overhead shot of the dumpster, and there's no more weapons in there, just snakes! Good God!

Finn: And as I say that, Dead losing his balance... his back is towards the dumpster, so if he falls back, he's going to crush Universal by falling back!

Finn: Down they go! Lord have mercy, they'll never wrestle again! Mark my words! And now with another over headshot, it appears Dead is back first on top of Universal and has him pinned.. and now the referee looking down, and he has no choice but to count the pin, even though Dead is likely asleep!

Finn: The referee gets in position on the stage, and begins slapping the stage... 1...

Finn: 2...

Finn: 3. Mark it down, Dead wins, and now the series between he and his most hated rival is tied at two victories apiece.

Armstrong: Pah.

Roberts: Feh.

Finn: Gah. There's a crew coming out here to clean things up, and right now I'd like to take the opportunity to plug our web site.

Armstrong: Oh, joy. More plugging.

Finn: Well, we've got to kill time, I suppose. Fans, after tonight's event you can log onto www.fwowrestling.com and read a full transcript of tonight's play-by-play, or go over to the Fan Zone and post your thoughts about tonight's card, and perhaps even give us some input on what you thought was the best match of the night.

Finn: Give us your opinions on what has gone down tonight... what you thought of our last contest, what you thought about The Black Panther turning on his partner Havok during a tag title match, and whatever else you'd like to talk about.

Finn: In addition to all that, I'm sure some fWo superstars will check in with their thoughts and comments, and perhaps even some post-show interviews will be taped and on the sight for you to witness. And I'm sure we'll have some information about tomorrow night's Sunday Night Slaughter, which should be an interesting card tomorrow night, as we'll have all the fallout from tonight's event.

Finn: And as we leave that scene of chaos, it is now time for the main event of the evening.

Armstrong: And it's about damn time!

Result: Dead by Pinfall