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FWO reAction

January 14, 2009

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"The Original" Jeff Garvin vs. Karina Wolfenden

(8 total votes)

Karina Wolfenden

As it trickled out of the arena’s speakers, the introduction of Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd brought a hush to ringside. Out of respect, the blinding lights dimmed themselves so only a strip from curtain to ring remained.

“Momma told me, when I was young…”

As if anyone was in any doubt, bold white letters stamped the name of the man striding out through the curtain onto the screens around him.

“THE ORIGINAL”
JEFF GARVIN

Shredding guitar licks, crashing symbols and gut-churning bass surrounded The Tennessee Technician as he pulled himself up onto the apron, square, chiselled features scoffing at even the most subtle of light-shows skipping around the rig above him. Granite fists wrapped around the top rope as he yanked on the cable, getting a feel for his surroundings like a scout observing the lay of the battlefield.

He was then plunged into darkness as pulses of synth laid a trail for pounding drums, while licks of bass triggered strobe flashes.

SUPERCALIFRAGIALISTICWHENWEDROPWEGOBALLISTIC~!

As Velocity Shift by Overseer was fully unleashed upon ringside, Jeff Garvin wanted to vomit his disgust for the sacrilege of pro wrestling. In the middle of the ring. In front of everyone.

While Garvin’s head hung low, its mournful shake staggered by the strobes, the debuting Karina Wolfenden was barely halfway through her entrance. Though the scaffolding above the stage she’d snaked before dropping down in front of the curtain, an act punctuated by a restrained puff of pyro either side of her.

When the smoke cleared, her name was flashing across the screens as part of a video package that needed to carry epilepsy warnings… for even non-epileptics.

“THE BOARDING BEAUTY”
THE K-WOLF
KARINA WOLDENDEN

“Why not just spit on professional wrestling’s grave while you‘re at it?” grumbled Garvin at the grotesque perversion of the sport he lived and died for.

Finally, and we do mean finally, The K-Wolf reached the ring.

Springboarding onto the top rope, she perched for just long enough to shed her coat and offer a final gesture to the crowd before dropping down between the fWo ropes for the first time proper.

Across the ring from her, a scowling Jeff Garvin was scuffing his boots across the canvas like a bull infuriated by the gaudy theatrics of the matador.

Ding, ding!

Bursting from the starting blocks, Karina pounced upon Garvin and flew at him with both knees. Stood firm against his projectile of an opponent, the Tennessee Technician crossed his arms over his chest, deflecting each of the K-Wolf’s knees with his royal blue elbow pads.

Dropping down in front of Garvin, Kari tried to fire off a snap kick to his thigh, but he stepped into it, catching the offensive limb and sweeping its standing counterpart. Despite Wolfenden contorting her body in resistance, Jeff spun into a half Boston crab, pulling back on the hold enough to plant Kari’s heel into her spine.

Despite her body almost snapping at the waist, Karina squirmed and slithered under Garvin, trying to relieve the pressure… only for Garvin to spin through and secure a rear chinlock, almost twisting The K-Wolf’s knee apart in the process.

When Jeff Garvin has you trapped in a torturous submission without a hope of reaching the bottom rope, you can only do one thing. Even if you’ve spent your life nursing broken bones and torn muscles.

Even if you haven’t gone a day in recent memory without cuts and bruises decorating your body.

Even if it’s barely 30 seconds into your fWo debut.

One thing.

Only.

TAP. TAP. TAP.

Ding, ding!

As The Original released his grip, Wolfenden unfurled, head buried deep in gloved hands out of frustration… and more than just a little embarrassment.

Standing tall over The K-Wolf, Garvin shook his head and sighed, unable to resist the urge to demand the microphone from the ring announcer. With her face hidden out of shame behind a shocking pink fringe, a rising Karina kicked out at the bottom rope.

“Here’s a tip, little girl…” Jeff growled, snapping Karina’s head up so that fierce green eyes could emit all their frustration at him. “When your entrance lasts twice as long as it takes me to beat you? You. Don’t. Belong.”

Rising to the taunt, Kari jawed back at the Tennessee Technician. “Blo-”

“You just lost in 30 seconds,” was the only reminder Garvin needed to silence the venting K-Wolf. “You don’t get to talk… unless it’s to say you want to go again.”

Body brimming with pent-up energy she never got to expend, Karina didn’t need to think twice, and some would argue she didn’t even think once, before demanding…

“Someone make a ding, ding! noise.”

Result: Jeff Garvin via submission