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THE IVY LEAGUE: House Show Tour Diary - 05/09/02

May 10, 2002
Poison Ivy

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Staff Photo

May 10th, 2002

3:22 AM, local time

Somewhere on Interstate 70

Damn, it's hot out here. Give me a good ol' New York winter any day over living in the midwest or the Rockies. But at least we're back to doing what we're in this business to do, and that's entertain the fans on a nightly basis. Honestly - there were very few complaints about working a nightly schedule, which stands to reason that this is one of the most mature locker rooms in the business.

Obviously, the mood was brightened by the news that we've got a television deal back again. Universal had a company- wide meeting, where he thanked us for being patient while he negotiated the deal, and for not getting on his back through all of the half- answers and evasive explanations he'd given us since CYBERSLAM. Personally, I understood what he was trying to do - not get our hopes up until a deal was in place.

I caught most of the Cruiser's match from the hot zone right past the curtain, and I can't imagine a better match to kick things off with. A lot of wrestlers don't like the idea that they have to kick things off, but quite frankly... they're morons. A hot opener is the life's blood of a live give a bold prediction right now and say Mufanga and Crucifix are gonna be fighting over the top contender's spot for SummerSlaughter.

Mega Job.... yeah.

No, seriously, I had never met Beef, El Janito, or Steve before, and I really didn't know what to make of 'em in the locker room. Polite, of course, they made the rounds to introduce themselves to whoever they didn't know, but also kinda quiet and withdrawn.

It's a ruse. I was laughing my ass off the entire time. Sean had to pull me away from the curtain toward a monitor during the shoe polish line for fear my laughter would be heard out in the arena. It's probably a good thing he did, too.

Awwwh, he's asleep in the back seat of the car while I'm typing this. He's so cute.

Do you know how to shimmy? Neither do I.

Heftel and Abusah vs. La Parka and Texas Kid was entertaining, true... but I think the four of 'em got short- changed. Having to follow an entrance like the one Mega Job had, with a similarly- gimmicked match was a really tough situation to be in. However, they pulled it off well with their confetti and their balloon animals and whatnot. You want my opinion, I think they decided that a winner would be boring, so they just went for the laugh.

Five stars, guys.

I've gotta hand it to Monte, he's been working through this back injury like a real trouper. He was sitting on the trainer's table back in the locker rooms, refusing to take a shot of ANYTHING, but did have an icepack strapped in for most of the evening. Even with the injury, it amazes me how Monte and Crisp seem to be having a good time out there when the Cult Icon has gotta be frustrated, and Burns has gotta be in agony. I remember, when I passed him by on my way to the hot zone, one of the trainers tried to help him and ended up hurting him some more. Word to the wise, O Wise Helpers Backstage... we know what hurts and what doesn't. If we say to leave us alone, LEAVE US ALONE.

Speaking of working through injury, I've been in Eli Flair's corner for the better part of seven years now, and I'm still amazed to no end how he can wrestle the way he does and not get seriously hurt.

Then I remind myself that he gets hurt all the time and is just a master of hiding it.

But I shouldn't say it like that. Look at his opponents. Grendel's offense isn't nearly as diverse as Eli or Knight's, but look at the man. He comes to the ring and I tell ya, I wouldn't want to cross paths with him in the middle of a shopping mall, let alone in a dark alley. And Lance Knight, of course... is just an amazing wrestler. Literally, everything this man does is look good. Eli Flair might not be the most well- rounded athlete in professional wrestling but he's the absolute master at using his opponent's strengths to make the match memorable.

I just worry about the risks these boys take.

On a completely unrelated note, I hope I'm not alone in thinking that Ric Chronos' victory over Brand Frontier was completely besides the point. Those in attendance know what I mean by that - and the boys (and girl, Tempest!) in the back know what I mean, too. Brand is ready. He's taken everything that the fWo booking committee has thrown at him, he's taken the programs that were pulled out from underneath himself, and he's had the same attitude the whole way through - 'I'm a wrestler. This is my job. I'm going to do my job as well as I can, and someone will soon notice.'

Someone's noticing you, Brand.... and now that you've got their undivided attention, make sure they hear you loud and clear.

The Main Man proved that not even death can keep a man from a World Title shot. I still remember the night he reappeared in the fWo, most of us were sitting in a stunned silence when he opened the locker room door, and, very uncharacteristic joke, when he asked us "What? Ya look like you've seen a ghost!"

Funny. But he was all business tonight. Unfortunately, his quest for the gold will continue as Kelly retained.

This is the way to end a show. Take the overpowering but new World Champion and put him in the ring with the unstoppable challenger, throwing in a dark horse wildcard to make it interesting, and the fans go home happy every time.

It was great to see so many Denver area fans again - it's been awhile since I was able to hang out for a bit. Unfortunately, six hundred miles of road between us and Kansas City had to be covered. The current fWo record for driving that distance is nine hours and twenty one minutes, held by none other than former champion Ruben Ross.

Eli and I (and Triple X and Tempest by proxy, they're both asleep in the backseat) are determined to beat that record. Four hundred miles to go.

See y'all tonight,

This is Ivy.