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The Ivy League

January 31, 2003
Poison Ivy

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Under Pressure

Staff Photo

The last time Eli Flair and Steven Shadows caused a riot in a wrestling ring, thirteen members of the CWL roster ended up in jail, including yours truly. And the subsequent problems faced concerning both Mr. Tort and other investors and board members, the CWL was forced to move its operations overseas.

And while I can't find a single thing that Terry and Penny could be doing differently to make the CWL a better promotion... I think I can speak for everyone on this side of the Atlantic when I say I miss seeing the CWL on non- satellite television.

This time around... there was a riot... and fifteen people were arrested. Two wrestlers and a baker's dozen drunken fans who thought it was a good idea to interfere in a main event.

Fuckin' morons.

I'm trying to catch a cab to the jail - whatever it's called - and Silver Fox calls me into a room with him, Twitch, Thumper, and Smooth. They say that they reviewed the tape and don't think Eli or Shadows were blatantly at fault, and they'll bail both men out at the fWo's expense - but I have to get both of them out.

By now it's after one AM, mind you.

Red tape, paperwork, and some fucktard staring at my ass kept me from collapsing in my warm hotel room bed until the sun was coming up. And instead of being able to collapse next to a warm, inviting body, as the sun came up, Sean was leaving to take a run.

I can't win, can I?

Between getting my heart ripped out by Hornet, my knee blown out by Ruben Ross, psychologically intimidated (I'm still pissed at myself over this) by Eron, and treated like a piece of meat by some shithead under arrest, I'd say I put up with enough crap from the world. Add in three different countries in one day, from sub- zero temperatures to sixty degrees, and I'd say I've got the right to be a little on edge.

Flood my E-Mail address with requests - nay, demands - that I write a new column because I "owe it to the fWo fans stop slacking off" and you can all kiss my ass.

I've been doing this shit for eight years now - and without a hint of arrogance, I'm goddamn good at it. There's a reason why the only person Joe Campbell has ever felt the need to justify his Asylum to is me. There's a reason why wrestling or fighting promotions with no room or interest in Eli Flair still want me on the payroll to write this very column. There's a fucking reason that you fWo fans can take the noncoms here seriously.

Three guesses, and Desire's silicon funbags don't count.

I dunno, I just needed to rant for a bit. They don't call me the Psycho Bitch for no reason, y'know.

And after eight years, most of which I don't think was worth it anymore... I think I'm entitled.

This is Ivy.