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The Main Man on Humour

April 17, 2003

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Let it not be said that the Main Man doesn't have a sense of humour.

The Simpsons? Vin Diesel's acting? The fact that Moby hasn't been beaten to death? France? These are humorous things.

Jokes? I like a good joke. Hey, do you know how they separate the men from the boys in Greece? With crowbars.

Now let me tell you what's not funny. Actually, it's nowhere near funny. It's more like suicidal.

It is the violation of the first of Creed's Commandments: Thou Shalt Not Mess With The Main Man.

On the April 10th Warfare, Erik Kelly thought he'd play a practical joke on me. The problem is, his joke tried to make me look bad. He broke the First Commandment. That's a grave sin indeed, and no amount of Hail Mary's are going to make up for it. That sin can only be washed away in blood.

Believe me, bitch, you're going to bleed plenty before I'm done with you.

Erik, you're going to have to face facts soon enough. You can't beat me, not on any level. If you put me under a high powered microscope, you'd see that every molecule in my body could kick your ass. Think of it as Natural Selection at work, and it's time for you to become extinct. Before your little stunt, I was happy enough with just beating you for the World Title. Now, not only am I going to beat you, I'm going to hurt you. Slowly.

Some people think I'm arrogant. They think I'm talking out of my ass, and that Erik Kelly is going to put me in my place. The good guys beat the bad guys.

Ha. That's a good one. Guess the joke's going to be on them.

I'm not a very nice person. I'm planning on being very not-nice to Kelly at Cyberslam. But you know what's really funny? I'm going to get the last laugh on the Eradicator before Cyberslam. Last Wednesday, he made his jokes. This Wednesday, I'm going to have mine.

And there's only two things he can do about it nothing and like it.